That's how life is sometimes... you will feel that in life, there would be times that you would and want to do something about certain things, you just can't help it.
Went to check on the 2nd opinion for my dad. Too late was the answer from Dr Tay. He told us that in this stage, it's more to prolong and all NUH done was correct. What we can do is to spend more time with him.
We were actually not sad this time as we had anticipated. For me, it's like paying to re-confirm that what we had done was the best that we could.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
This song, this song had been lingering for so long. Life had been like 煎熬 for me and family, a lot of relatives had been showering us with a lot of "concerns" to ask about my dad, but please give us some peace. Everyday, my standard routine normally would be now work AM shift, takeaway dinner and drive to NUH to visit my dad and had dinner with them.
After that it's bading goodbye to dad and we drove home. After home, mum will do some housework and we try to help as much as we can. Persistant and consistant ringing of telephone just doesn't help !
We need some peace. 无声有时胜过有声... What we need is some quiet time...
Grateful
As i wrote, i began to think of life. Life really had it's unfairness to certain people.
My dad had slogged since i was borned till date and the "fruits" that he got was the tumor :(
Whatever it is, i had promised to him that i will take charge of the family if he passes on and life will go on, right now, every day to be able to see him alive and talking to us is something that we look forward to and grateful about.
My dad had slogged since i was borned till date and the "fruits" that he got was the tumor :(
Whatever it is, i had promised to him that i will take charge of the family if he passes on and life will go on, right now, every day to be able to see him alive and talking to us is something that we look forward to and grateful about.
Beginning
After seeing my friend's postings, i decided to start blogging again.
Life had been like a roller coaster ride to me.
Since young, i would always say that my family is not well to do, with a lot of "wants" in life when i was young but mostly unfufilled as my dad was the only sole breadwinner.
Whenever my cousins who came over to visit my grandma (who stayed with us last time), they would bring so many food and stuff, ranging from slurpee, softee from 7 eleven, burgers from burger king, mac and all those handheld nitendo games.
I used to feel the inferiority and unfairness of life, how come they have these and that and i don't. I always felt that it's unfair, but i never understand that he was always trying the best he can for us.
As i grow older, me and my sis completed polytechnic studies and eventually university.
Eventually we headed to the working society, in our 1st 4 years of working life, we got our parents to overseas trip from HK to TW to Batam to even KL. They finally got the chance to enjoy the fruits of their hard labour and then the news struck on Oct 10th 2011.
He was diagnosed with pancreatic tumor at the head. This came as a shock as he had complained of gastric before but he just popped pills and that was fine. This time, doctor found jaundice on his body and in the eyes and that was the reason he was admitted to hospital for a check.
We were saddened by this news, the routine of admitting to A&E due to fever starts. Till now, we had admitted him to A&E 7 times and he spent most of the time in hospital.
Things took a turn for the worst when he completed one round of chemotheraphy and radiography as he went in during fever and he was checked to have the cells spread to liver and diagnosed as stage 4 now. Doctor had given us the expected period he would be around.
As i am writing this, he was admitted to hospital with zoster, a viral infection similar to chicken pox. Happens when he/she had low immune system.
Whats next is still unknown, but i will definitely need to be strong, to hold the fort. I will try to go for a second opinion to see if there are ways to prolong his life. I will try to be stronger than my sis and mum.
Life had been like a roller coaster ride to me.
Since young, i would always say that my family is not well to do, with a lot of "wants" in life when i was young but mostly unfufilled as my dad was the only sole breadwinner.
Whenever my cousins who came over to visit my grandma (who stayed with us last time), they would bring so many food and stuff, ranging from slurpee, softee from 7 eleven, burgers from burger king, mac and all those handheld nitendo games.
I used to feel the inferiority and unfairness of life, how come they have these and that and i don't. I always felt that it's unfair, but i never understand that he was always trying the best he can for us.
As i grow older, me and my sis completed polytechnic studies and eventually university.
Eventually we headed to the working society, in our 1st 4 years of working life, we got our parents to overseas trip from HK to TW to Batam to even KL. They finally got the chance to enjoy the fruits of their hard labour and then the news struck on Oct 10th 2011.
He was diagnosed with pancreatic tumor at the head. This came as a shock as he had complained of gastric before but he just popped pills and that was fine. This time, doctor found jaundice on his body and in the eyes and that was the reason he was admitted to hospital for a check.
We were saddened by this news, the routine of admitting to A&E due to fever starts. Till now, we had admitted him to A&E 7 times and he spent most of the time in hospital.
Things took a turn for the worst when he completed one round of chemotheraphy and radiography as he went in during fever and he was checked to have the cells spread to liver and diagnosed as stage 4 now. Doctor had given us the expected period he would be around.
As i am writing this, he was admitted to hospital with zoster, a viral infection similar to chicken pox. Happens when he/she had low immune system.
Whats next is still unknown, but i will definitely need to be strong, to hold the fort. I will try to go for a second opinion to see if there are ways to prolong his life. I will try to be stronger than my sis and mum.
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